"Your Daughter has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)"

We suspected our child was different since the beginning but we always thought she just needed more time. 

She hated tummy time and couldn't bear to be on her belly for 20 seconds. 
She would screams as though she was having stabbing pain.  At 9 months old she couldn't sit on her own. 

Started sitting on her own at 11 months

Playing at 15 months. Unable to pull to stand,

She never could pull up to stand and we always blamed ourselves for not enough tummy time. I always compared her to other children, because something didn't seem right. She made babbling  sounds around the age of one and would eventually say mumumum, dondee around 18 months. She was a very quiet baby unless she was crying. She would just stare at us and sometimes give an unsure smile. 
 At every doctor appointment we were told she has a Global Delay. I wasn't sure what that meant. At one point we thought she was deaf because she never responded to us. But the Audiology tests came back fine. During this time she learned about 5 words and then would never use them again. This is called language regression. She use to scoot on her bottom and would use her heels to spin herself. She would spin and spin and spin and spin and never get dizzy. She did this many times a day. She stacks and lines up almost everything.

Scooting on her bum at 16 months. Still no words.

Practicing her steps at 22 months

She always takes our hand to bring her for what she wants,  she can't tell us what she needs, or what she wants. She can't even tell us if she is hungry. She has many meltdowns because she is so frustrated she can't communicate her needs. Some mornings this can happen 5-6 times before 9am. She will bang her head on the floor, run into the wall and throw her self on the floor. She enjoys playing in her own bubble. Eye contact is minimum but better, and she can't jump or do stairs on her own. Often she screams very high pitched and for a long time. Eventually, she gave her first steps at 22 months and started to walk. She spins standing now that she can walk. If there is a switch in the schedule, there will be a meltdown. If bedtime is not done a certain way then she will leave her room and we need to start again. She never finishes a task and switches in the middle of play. She wants to be fed most times. She is scared of loud sounds like running bath water and radio static.

 So this is just some of it, but everyone told us up until two weeks ago that she just needs more time.  After all, she is only 2 and half years old. 
We were told every child has meltdowns, so it is okay. 

As for me, I thought I was going crazy. I thought there is something else going on here. People would argue with me and tell me she just needs time and some kind of natural remedy. It seems when something different is happening, people start to panic and say everything except for what could be possible. Except for our toddler's team of doctors...

December 7th, 2016

We drop off our baby at a friends home and head to the Montreal Children's Hospital. We have been waiting for this assessment for almost a year! I thought it was 3 months, but I just didn't realize how fast the time went by. As I am sitting in the car I am just hoping our daughter can handle all the doctors and not meltdown for them. We arrive at the Montreal Children's Hospital and the team of doctors are so nice. 

We go into a room and they start assessing her one at a time while the other professionals watch behind a mirrored window. The whole 4 hour session is recorded. Each doctor takes turns, but that is not without meltdowns. Then we try to head for the gym to do some stairs, with the change of environment, our daughter's brain can't handle it anymore. She screams and cries and falls to the floor in front of all the people in the waiting room. 
I pick her up and bring her to the Physiotherapy area, but her meltdown lasts about 15-20 minutes and we are unable to do anything physical. We return back to the room. I fill out forms and they give me a book FULL of words and I'm to check off the words she says without repeating..  10..11..12..13..14...15 words.. That's about it. Most of which she's stop saying recently. I express that.

December 14th, 2016.

We arrive at the Montreal Children's Hospital after dropping both of our children off at a friends. I am SO nervous and picking my fingers all the way there. I chew 5 pieces of gum and keep quiet the whole way there. It doesn't matter what they say could be going on with her, we will love her for who she is, our sweet daughter.

I hit the elevator button and we head upstairs and register. As we sit down I see all the signs on the wall.  Physiotherapy, Feeding, Autism, etc. Within 5 minutes the doctor comes for us. She asks how we feel and I say, "NERVOUS!" She understands.

As we sit down in the room we look at each other and she says, "I'm not going to beat around the bush, your daughter has Autism. Spectrum Disorder (ASD)." I am grateful for her being direct as I'm dying for answers. All I hear after that is, "aisfasjfk fhasifjas fjsakfhsai fj ajfasfhasfjka gfsafisa nsaf hsaifj safnidsauf adsf..............................................." I feel like something fell on me. Then I force myself to listen for the benefit of my daughter. They give us Summary of Recommendations with all the information we talked about.

• Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), as evidenced by:
• Difficulties with social communication and interaction. 
• Repetitive play and behaviour, behavioural inflexibility, and strong sensory likes and dislikes.
• Significant communication impairment
• Motor difficulties: significant delay in gross motor skills, delays in perceptual-motor skills and delays in self-care skills
• Feeding difficulties, manifesting as selectivity and refusal to self-feed
• Pronounced lumbar lordosis

We then talk about her strengths:

• Able to engage in verbal and motor imitation during social situations, which are stepping stones for communication and learning.
• She can collaborate nicely when she is calm and interested in an activity.
• She demonstrates good pretend play skills, which is a positive sign for continual development.
• She has made steady progress in her ability to tolerate new situations and environments.
•  She has a special affinity for music, which is a medium she greatly enjoys.

I told the doctor, "I knew I wasn't going crazy!!  She asks my husband some questions about how he feels and we ask and answer and ask more questions. We ask about the mild, moderate and severe but in the US and Canada they have gone away from that. They don't use mild, moderate or severe anymore. 

http://www.mira.ca/en/our-dogs/8/breeding_35.html

Then we talk about recommendations.

We talked about a service dog for her from the Mira Foundation. Which we will apply for in January when all the paper work comes in the mail from the 4 different specialists. 

I will mention some of what is available for our daughter just in case another family could benefit from the information for their child. 

CLSC social worker, Readaptation Center aka CRDI (1 yr waitlist), Speech Pathologist Home Program, Feeding Program, and financial resources such as the Supplement for Handicapped Children from the Regie des rentes du Quebec, Disability Tax Credit from the CRA, and for private grants from the President's Choice Children's Charity. A CPE day care found for us by the CLSC to enrich her socialization, paid for by the allowance for the intergration of a handicapped child. Once at school she would have an Individualized Education Plan for a specialised class or a teachers aide in a regular classroom. There are also special schools. Cognitive assessment at 7-8 years old to clarify her strengths and difficulties. There are also ASD centers in Montreal that offer private behavioural therapy. They gave us a list of books and online resources also.

For myself, I felt scared, nervous, overwhelmed, sad, in denial, frustrated, anger, and everything you can feel over the last week. My PPD gave me two days to process the news before hitting me again, but my wonderful husband was there to help. My children are such a joy in my life and we will love and serve and help them the best we can. Our friends and family on social media have made a huge difference in my life. The love and support has been so amazing that I have cried tears of joy. I am blessed to have so many angels around our family. It is hard but it will be okay.